Hallelujah Hesperia, We Have a Connection!

And just in time for Emilee to be home tonight or tomorrow! She'll be tickled to at least be able to email her two best girlfriends who have both moved away in the past few weeks. Phone time will have to be minimal cause they are both out of the area and long distance now.

Sunny is coming up here this afternoon to see her new doc who will help them in treating the fibroids and having things under control with her body before they try again.

Both Rachael and Emilee had a fantastic time at camp last weekend. They returned home Monday afternoon and were completely exhausted. Both tried paintballing; Rachie told me "Tia, I liked it a lot, it was so much fun!" And it sounds like she's interested in doing it again sometime. Em was a bit different. She said,"Mom, I had fun but it just really isn't my thing I don't think!" Both girls agree that Em took an awful lot of hits, and so was quite sore and bruised. Nothing major though and at least she had the guts to try it! Those girls make me so proud always!

In other wonderful news (drumroll, please!)...Fernie found a new job, works with some guys who he's worked with in the past and really seems to like it! The pay started at exactly what he was making at Century, so that's okay for now. And he's supposed to have insurance here pretty soon - praise God!
Fernie is working so hard and I have been a complete wreck this entire week - and just a nightmare to live with, I know. I have been completely off all meds since May and this disease is doing exactly what it does - ruining peoples lives, marriages, families and everything else it can manage to undermine. I am not feeling strong enough to fight it, but everyone just tries to stay real close and help me rationalize and reason whenever they can. I am feeling a little better this afternoon. I still need sleep, but I wanted to pick up around here before Emilee gets in.

Mom took me to the dr today and paid cash for the visit and for my blood pressure med. My pressure runs so high that I think they are afraid of a stroke when I am raging uncontrollably through one of these stupid episodes. It has only been a couple of hours and I can already feel the difference in my pressure and throbbing veins.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS. I ABSOLUTELY BELIEVE THAT THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
But when it has finally passed, will there be anyone left?

Fernie just called to check in on me, that was nice. Kaela called earlier too just to say "Mom, I love you and I wanted to know how today is?" I wish I could be sure that they know just how much I want to be better...for them.

Mom, Fernie, Kae & Emi, Sunny, Rachie, Rob, Margaret - you all deserve so much better than I can offer right now. I will be better. Thank you for helping me fight this. Without you all, I am nothing.

PEACE